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Father Time’s Wake


We are here now to free our mind of figments of imagination that warp our sense of presence.

“There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.” George Carlin 

Those figments are, like the hands on a clock, metaphors.

“We say that time passes, time goes by, and time flows. Those are metaphors. We also think of time as a medium in which we exist.” James Gleick

Like deadlines, temporal metaphors tend to be falsely alarming.

“Clock watchers never seem to be having a good time.” James Cash Penney

Not to say that an hourglass figure is just a figure of speech, but that imagination gets mired in the metaphoric sands of time.

“The more sand has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.” –Niccolo Machiavelli

Without metaphors that cause us to perceive time as running out, we can give the benefit of the doubt to ones with longer legs than a girl’s best friend.

“The only thing wrong with immortality is that it seems to go on forever.” –Herb Caen

Philosophically speaking, it is literally impossible for thinking beings to go for a day without metaphors.

“The drive toward the creation of metaphors is the fundamental human drive, which one cannot for a single instant dispense with in thought, for one would thereby dispense with man himself.” –Friedrich Nietzsche

There is, however, a way to go on infinitely, without metaphors that spoil sport, kill joy and poop parties.

“A happy man does not hear the clock strike.” Proverb  

It is perfectly legal to toss time’s one-way, dead-end metaphors overboard.

“The laws of physics do not distinguish between the past and future.” Stephen Hawking

By replacing temporal metaphors for timeless treasures, we never have to worry about being early or—perish the thought—late.

“True love stories never have endings.” –Richard Bach

So, with all due respect to Stonehenge, we heave Mr. Grim off the boat we are in.

Life is a voyage.” Victor Hugo 

Topside and belowdecks, our metaphoric craft packs a shipload of treasure.

“Metaphor has a way of holding the most truth in the least space.” –Orson Scott Card 

Refreshments are being served on the observation deck now, and the food for thought is, literally, to laugh, to love, and to live for.

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” –Marcus Aurelius

Click here to save your life from humorless fates!


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