“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”—Drew Carey

Head of human resources
Weaned in a square barred playpen
Bred for the egg-crate rat race
Gleaned the art of sneering then

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

―Robert Frost

Bunched the muscles of success
Munched a curling upper lip
Punched a time clock at a desk
Crunched a sneering championship

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

—Charles Lamb

Searing pain in the dimples
Leering as grin muscles ache
Weary brains in cubbyholes
Churlish sneers at coffee break

‘I don’t really like coffee,’ she said, ‘but I don’t really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either.’

―Brian Andreas

Head of human resources
Vetting curling volunteers
Fretting artists bored to tears
Yet to sneer from ear to ear

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.

—James M. Barrie