“At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst.” —Aristotle

Attention new inmates! The J. Edgar Hoover Costume Party is tonight. Drop your dirty linen in the Rackets Club Laundry, and come as you are.

“If you see oppression of the poor, and justice and righteousness trampled in a country, do not be astounded.”

―King Solomon

The Kingpin Spa offers first offenders a complementary mud bath and wax job. Charges are dropped but donations are tax exempt.

“For there is no defense for a man who, in the excess of his wealth, has kicked the great altar of Justice out of sight.”

―Aeschylus

The Fix-Is-In Sports Bar extends Happy Hour until Lights Out. No reservations.

“Justice will not come to Athens until those who are not injured are as indignant as those who are injured.”

―Thucydides

If there is anything we can do to make your solitary confinement more punishing, please do not hesitate to tip the concierge a wink.

“Justice prevails over transgression when she comes to the end of the race.”

―Hesiod