“If you are writing about baloney, don’t try and make it Cornish hen, because that’s the worst kind of baloney there is. Just make it darn good baloney.” —Leo Burnett
Grill ice-cold cuts on low heat:
subdue spitting blistering fat,
like stinging zingers in a spat.
Thaw if frozen. Warm for treats.
No matter how you slice it, it’s still baloney.
If hard edged or sour-grape hued,
hold the mustard, and on fresh bread
spread lots of sweet relish instead,
lest you eat your wurst with rue.
Be silent, or say something better than silence.
Chew slowly, predigesting.
Finer mincing precludes sorrows,
First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.