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Posts from the ‘Humour’ Category

““The people who live in a golden age usually go around complaining how yellow everything looks.” —Randall Jarrell

Cutting thro’ the rye,
like a whirling samurai,
never say goodbye!

You just never know when you’re living in a golden age

—Alexander Payne

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“On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.” —George Orwell

Yes, wee people,
the Elf Sat is cool,
unlike that beater
of Big Brother’s.
Brainchild of three
Twee elves from Thule,
unobserved by Cruel
Stepmother.

Not to expose your true feelings to an adult seems to be instinctive from the age of seven or eight onwards

—George Orwell

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“Man can never expect to start from scratch; he must start from ready-made things, like even his own mother and father.” —Marcel Duchamp

Audition Demo 1

READER: “Mack was hauling an oversize load, bumping over a hump in the road, when he saw, on an old commode, a word scrawled in paint, bold, not faint: ‘Dump’

DIRECTOR: Superbe! j’adore! continue…

In French, there is an old expression, la patte, meaning the artist’s touch, his personal style, his ‘paw’. I wanted to get away from la patte and from all that retinal painting

—Marcel Duchamp

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“If you are writing about baloney, don’t try and make it Cornish hen, because that’s the worst kind of baloney there is. Just make it darn good baloney.” —Leo Burnett

Cut the Baloney 1

Grill ice-cold cuts on low heat:
subdue spitting blistering fat,
like stinging zingers in a spat.
Thaw if frozen. Warm for treats.

No matter how you slice it, it’s still baloney.

—Rube Goldberg

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“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.” —Carl Sagan

We played and stomped the ground on the range we once roamed
Squeezing music in and out made a wheezy moan
Breezes teasing reedy grasses, weaving a tune
Down-to-earth as cow pies on a June afternoon

Work and pray, live on hay, you’ll get pie in the sky when you die.

Joe Hill

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“The future ain’t what it used to be.” —Yogi Berra

Seer’s eyes prognosticate
Reading signs of prophesy
Previewing what comes to be
As yesterday’s ills recede

There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.

George Carlin

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“One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next.” ―Will Rogers


The whirling dervish going round on the inside track is thinking about breaking the record of revolutions per minute held by a mad holy roller on the outside track. He has another think coming.

“Every revolution was first a thought in one man’s mind.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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